I don't think H will ever need/want me with the same consuming need and urgency that I want him.
And after 26 years together I think I finally need to face this fact.
I need to stop pretending I can change him or the situation...but the thought of living the rest of my life in a sexless marriage terrifies me and makes my heart hurt.
Because, of course, I question whether he's seeking sex elsewhere(even with himself)...because he simply doesn't want sex or any kind of intimacy with me.
At least not with any kind of regularity, and once a month makes me feel unfeminine...unwanted.