Monday, January 14, 2013

2013...

"If you're playing a poker game and you look around the table and can't figure out who the sucker is. It's you."
~Paul Newman~


My father told me something similar to this before leaving for college. I think it was his way of kindly telling me there will always be smarter people out there in the world...deal with it with grace the best you can. My father always admired Paul Newman.

Well here I am, 2013 is going strong already and I've barely recovered from New Years Eve. Am I handling it with grace, probably not...but I'm trying to muddle through the best I can, fool or not.

Next month H and I will hit a milestone. A quarter century ago, on March 7, 1988, we met. There are many things I can't remember about that day but meeting him is not one of them. So many little details about how he spoke, smiled, pushed his hair off his face. I remember them all.
The unbelievable thrill of that first kiss. Sighing as I rested my head on his shoulder. It took enormous restraint not to drag him back to my place and tuck him in my bed for the night.

In those 25 years we've married, had babies, laughed, cried, made new friends, said goodbye to old friends, lost loved ones, grieved, most importantly we've held on to us. What we love about each other and us as a couple.
It's no easy task people. Raising children, jobs, family, friends, etc...all take away from us as a couple. We've always tried to make a point to put aside time just for us, no matter the distractions. Because once the kiddos are off on their own, and everything else falls by the way side, it will just be H and I, no one else. I don't want to forget what it was that brought us together in the first place. I don't want to let Our relationship grow in separate directions.
It's so easy to get caught up in meaningless shit. Job drama, family drama, friend drama, but when our bedroom door closes at the end of the day there is none of that in our bedroom. It's just the two of us. None of the drama belongs in there with us. That has been our number one rule.

Of course we've broken that rule many times, but we always work to get back on track. And yes, it's work. It takes work to make a 25 year relationship strong.

I love him, but more importantly I'm still IN love with him.

3 comments:

Danielle LaJoie said...

This post is heartfelt & poignant. It touches my heart like no other I have read. This is the third time I have read it and still can not stop the tears from flowing freely down my cheeks. Through your beautiful blog you have shown us beautiful glimpses of your relationship. This post ties it up in a exquisite package. You two are lucky to have each other. That you have continued to make each other a priority is the reason. There is nothing more special than marrying your best friend and growing up together. As with any relationship it has it's own issues that arise but it is a testament to both of you that after 25 years of marriage you still work at it and are in love! It is a magnificent thing. Life throws many things our way and you said it perfectly no matter what the distractions you must carve out time for just the two of you. I believe it is crucial and too many people let life's situations, drama, work, family, & children take the forefront & forgot that in the end it is the person you said "I do" too that will be left standing there after all is said and done- kids move and start their own families, friends come & go but your partner is their forever. Relish those memories and continue to make more. Congratulations you too you are lucky to have each other! 
xo
Elle

Danielle LaJoie said...

This post is heartfelt & poignant. It touches my heart like no other I have read. This is the third time I have read it and still can not stop the tears from flowing freely down my cheeks. Through your beautiful blog you have shown us beautiful glimpses of your relationship. This post ties it up in a exquisite package. You two are lucky to have each other. That you have continued to make each other a priority is the reason. There is nothing more special than marrying your best friend and growing up together. As with any relationship it has it's own issues that arise but it is a testament to both of you that after 25 years of marriage you still work at it and are in love! It is a magnificent thing. Life throws many things our way and you said it perfectly no matter what the distractions you must carve out time for just the two of you. I believe it is crucial and too many people let life's situations, drama, work, family, & children take the forefront & forgot that in the end it is the person you said "I do" too that will be left standing there after all is said and done- kids move and start their own families, friends come & go but your partner is their forever. Relish those memories and continue to make more. Congratulations you too you are lucky to have each other! 
xo
Elle

monkey girl said...

Aww Elle, that is by far the sweetest comment that anyone has ever left me. Thank you honey, I feel honoured that this post spoke to you! xo
Hugs,
mg