Friday, September 21, 2012

Goodbye Seattle...

Today is our last day in Seattle. Right now I'm hiding in our bedroom as the movers load furniture and boxes onto a truck bound south this afternoon.

I am still ambivalent about this move. I don't know why and crying in my therapist's office Wednesday afternoon didn't bring me any answers except I don't feel ready for the move.

I realize it's a little late now to be's a done deal.

H has been in Portland now for over 3 weeks Mon-Fri. I've been miserable without him, so I feel like I should be relieved if not ecstatic that we will soon be living under the same roof again.

But I know my uneasiness has nothing to do with that. I'm just worried. Worried that kiddo will hate her new school. Worried she'll have a hard time making new friends. Worried that all the confidence she's gained in the last year and a half will be lost. Worried that I won't be able to help her.

Of course I realize this is all beyond my control but knowing that and feeling that are two separate ideas in my head that can't seem to come together.

I keep reminding myself of all the wonderful people waiting for us. Family and friends, excited that we'll be living so close.

Sorry for the whiny post.
I hate change and uncertainty.


PastryTwatter said...

Hopefully third times the charm. Keeping my fingers crossed! I tried almost a month ago to leave a post but it was having problems authenticating me. I tried a second time & then sadly I gave up. Your post has stuck with me since I read it. I am sorry it has taken me so long to come back. I would start & can never get what I want to say to come out as perfectly as the first time i wrote it or even the 2nd ;).

I totally understand how overwhelming a move can be. Even in the best of circumstances. Even if it is something you want. Change is hard and makes us uneasy. It is that unknown. We get comfortable and I think that is what make it so hard. plus if you are like me I over think things to death. I moved a year ago & was excited. It was something I wanted I found the perfect house. It was just local move. But I started obsessing about it. Thinking how my daily routine was going to be changed by the move. I over thought it and was driving my husband crazy. I hope you are settling in and are happy.

Portland is great! I love PSU farmer's market & the Pearl District. Have fun exploring! So many fun things to do! I tried to convince my hubby to move up there few years ago but for work it wasn't really an option just a dream of mine. Ironically right after we moved before I even got time to unpack the announcement came that we would now be splitting our time Between California & Seattle. That for some reason I took happily. Sometimes we are just emotional little roller coasters thinking about way to much!


monkey girl said...

Sorry blogger was giving you trouble! Thank you for the kind comment.
I'm just starting to find my way around Portland and enjoy it.