Today is our last day in Seattle. Right now I'm hiding in our bedroom as the movers load furniture and boxes onto a truck bound south this afternoon.
I am still ambivalent about this move. I don't know why and crying in my therapist's office Wednesday afternoon didn't bring me any answers except I don't feel ready for the move.
I realize it's a little late now to be ready...it's a done deal.
H has been in Portland now for over 3 weeks Mon-Fri. I've been miserable without him, so I feel like I should be relieved if not ecstatic that we will soon be living under the same roof again.
But I know my uneasiness has nothing to do with that. I'm just worried. Worried that kiddo will hate her new school. Worried she'll have a hard time making new friends. Worried that all the confidence she's gained in the last year and a half will be lost. Worried that I won't be able to help her.
Of course I realize this is all beyond my control but knowing that and feeling that are two separate ideas in my head that can't seem to come together.
I keep reminding myself of all the wonderful people waiting for us. Family and friends, excited that we'll be living so close.
Sorry for the whiny post.
I hate change and uncertainty.