Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Nothing here people...keep on walking.

H and I had planned to have some hot back seat ferry sex on the way home today.

I had an early doctor appointment and then I wanted to be sure we stopped off at Trader Joe's before we caught the 2:25 ferry. Our refrigerator was pitifully empty.

H was worried our tinted windows wouldn't be enough to hide the fact that we were gonna fuck. Meh, I didn't worry so much. Most people seemed to mind their own business on the ferry.

We waited for the ferry to arrive. H was listening to a ball game and I was reading a biography on Ayn Rand. Did you know that The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged still sell over 300,000 copies every year? Jeez, I didn't. I still only have 61* readers following my blog.

The first inkling we had this wasn't gonna happen was when the ferry worker stopped us and had us park in the middle of the ferry. Usually we're always directed to the upper parking areas which are only two lanes of cars and fairly quiet.

Strike one: We're in the middle of four lanes of cars on the ferry. Crap. On every side of our car is a car parked very very close. Mere inches away really.

But H did notice most people were ditching their cars to relax inside the ferry. Okay, I thought...maybe this was still gonna happen.

Strike Two: As soon as we're out in the water the boat starts to roll. Fuck, we're in the wake of some huge container ship. As we pitch to the left, I turn green...not a good sign. I rarely get sea sick on the ferry, but it does happen every blue moon. Shit.

H notices my lovely shade of green and rolls his eyes. I figure he's picturing me puking on his dick instead of sucking on his dick. Not a pretty thought.

Strike three: Some douchebag's car alarm starts going off every 30 seconds. Soon he's at his car fumbling trying to turn it off. But now there's a crowd growing around our car. Everybody assumed it was THEIR car. Come on people!

H asked me if they had read my twitter feed announcing the up coming 'ferry sex'. "Fuck, I don't think so but I've never seen it more crowded."

"Maybe we should have them turn on a spot light and sell tickets?" I smirk.

H isn't feeling my humor. He's been waiting 3 hours for ferry sex.

Five more minutes and we'll be docking.

"Sorry honey, I'll make it up to you tonight, I promise."

Somehow this doesn't seem to placate him. I'll have to think of something good for next time.

*I do have more readers, but only 61 committed readers. Usually I blow past 60 in a day...but hey, I can't ask for a commitment from everyone.


guy who trapped monkey girl said...

Plus it is tourist season... They are wondering around with nowhere to go. First they are at the front then, they are at the back, and then saunter back to the front. Ohhhh pretty water... Yea I get it, pick a side and stay there.

Oh well, at least we took care of you while our oldest monkey made dinner. Or should I say, got you warmed up for later.. (Wink wink, nudge nudge, know what I mean, know what I mean)

monkey girl said...

I love you but sometimes you're such a dork. Of course, in the best sense. xo

N. said...

1. I think we may well have to part ways over the whole Ayn Rand thing.

2. The first time I read this, I wasn't thinking about a car ferry. When it wasn't a car ferry, the sex was far bolder. But the tinted windows reference confused me. Now that I get it? Much more plausible.

3. Bummer, though.

4. So, did you make it up to him?


5. What do you mean, "committed readers"? How do you track your readership?

monkey girl said...

My Dear N,

1. Don't let a mere book separate us. I haven't read any of her books but I'm curious about the controversy. Plus if you read my profile...I'm a prolific reader. xo

2. Yes, car ferry, however you can walk on as well. As H and I have had many a 'bathroom sex' sessions the car seems more comfortable. Plus as I'll talk about in my documentation I've been squirting/gushing a lot lately. If there was a mess to contend with I'd rather have the privacy of the car.

3. Complete bummer. ;-(

4. Oh yes, you'll read about it first in your email. ;)

5. If you view my web version of the blog instead of the mobile can click to follow my blog. Back in 2008 it made it easier for readers to get to me without bookmarking. I don't see many people using it today but I haven't changed my format in 4 years.

Hope that answers your questions. You'll hear from me later. ;)