Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Working on happy.

H has stayed close these past few days. Keeping an eye on me, pulling me in close to tell me how much he loves me. Holding me tight, the tighter the better.

After therapy today I was weepy. He took me out for a late lunch and then drove me home and tucked me into bed.

It's true I often allow myself to get mired down with life, problems, people, etc...

Sometimes I wish there was a button on me that I could push that would bring me back to the present, remind me of all the good I have in my life.

Sadly, sometimes I need that constant reminder. My filter that keeps out the bad and unnecessary thoughts, isn't working properly right now. I'm not sure why, but with the help of H and my therapist we're trying to figure it out.

H knows me all too well when I'm like this, he keeps me close, watching carefully so I don't lose my step. Trip up and fall.

He knows where my head goes. I worry that I'm too much work for him. Too high maintenance. Too needy.
But he reminds me he loves me this way...just the way I am...fucked up neediness and all.

He just wants me to be happy.

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