Wednesday, April 18, 2012

the universal decision...

---with kidlet/monkey #1 leaving soon for university it got me thinking---

I had mixed feelings about leaving for university.

I literally felt like the world had been lifted off my shoulders.  I no longer lived at home...and knew(even if my parents didn't) that I'd never move back home again.  And I haven't.

At the same time, I suffered from guilt leaving my brother behind.  I knew it would be hard for him to continue to live w/the mother when I wasn't there.
I was also afraid of living w/strangers.

The previous year when I applied to universities I had made a huge mistake and applied to schools I thought I was expected to go approved university list per se.
Not going to university was not an option.  Monkeygirl's Daddy had always told her she would go to university.  Not up for discussion.  Now really I didn't mind.  I desperately needed to leave a very dysfunctional bi-polar mother.  Ever since brother and i were adopted(me 6, him 3), she was a force of terrible sickness...but that's another post.  That said, my Daddy was the best one I could have every hoped for, and never would have survived till the age of 18 without Him.  Truly He was her blessing.

After realizing I'd made a terrible mistake with my university choices, I quickly re-applied to smaller private ones(that were NO WHERE near southern California as I found out I don't really like to be farther south than Carmel).  
I still couldn't apply out of state, as I was told that that was not an option...and really my Daddy was paying for my university education so I didn't question it.

I was accepted to my university of choice.  A small (1,200 total pupils) private university in Northern California.

My major was sociology and English literature.
My first year classes sounded so exciting.  I even included an autobiography & religion class that read, obviously, the autobiographies of some religious leaders/writers...Gandhi, Alan Watts, Jung(yeah, that one confused me too as I'd never really thought of Jung as a religious writer), Yogi Paramahansa Yogananda, and a few others I can't remember.  It was a seriously awesome class, btw.

Anyhoo, seeing kidlet/monkey #1 start to doubt her decisions on her college choices and even if she would go overseas(which she always had confessed was her dream), didn't surprise me.

Hubby had told kidlet/monkey #1 to apply to any universities she wanted to.  I thought this was an interesting idea...kinda.
He told kidlet #1 that after her acceptance letters came rolling in He would sit down w/her and start to make a decision.
I even questioned his method (insert much laughter here)and He quickly explained that even if she applied to schools that we'd not planned on sending her to, that He wanted her to flush out her desires regardless of any perceived financial limitations...i.e. super expensive private universities... $50,000/yr.    yikes!!

I guess it made sense, but I thought maybe we were setting her up for disappointment.  What Hubby didn't tell me till later was He highly doubted she would get into some of her university choices based on her GPA and SAT scores. 

Well that backfired on Him big time...but I kept my mouth shout...well sorta...;)

She continued to flip-flop about her university choices, but really I think that's normal.
Now we seem to know pretty sure which one will be the One.

I'm so excited for her...and really kinda scared too.

p.s.  SAT scores have changed significantly since I went to university.  Seriously, they are so complicated now I don't even get it.  

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