Dealing with school yard bullies...

So I need some sisterly advice.

My youngest Monkey is being bullied by twin girls at her school.
One twin is in her class, the other in the class next door.

Now when I say bullied, I mean these girls (6th grade) tell my Monkey that they hate her clothes, hair, shoes, what she says, even how she walks. It's a never ending list of dislikes.

It's abuse really.

Now I've talked with the girls' Grandmother and haven't gotten a lot of help (i.e. none) in that department. Their situation is bad (Grandparents have recently been given custody) and it's obvious to me that these girls will have problems the rest of their lives. I can feel sorry for them, but that's where my feelings end for these girls. Plain and simple they are bullies, who get off on making other kids (mine isn't the only one) feel like shit.

Now my oldest never really had a problem like this, so I'm at a loss.

Here's what I've done so far:

• told her to ignore the girls
• told her to talk w/her teacher
• talked w/her about what it is to be a 'real' friend
  
• talked w/her about what constitutes abusive behavior
  

In addition, I've been having her see a therapist and I finally made an appointment to discuss the ongoing problem w/the school administration. I will tell you that the school already has a reputation of not wanting to deal with shit like this.

At this point, I now have a 6th grader who no longer wants to attend school. Which breaks my heart. She's always worn her heart on her sleeve and is a prime target for these kind of girls.

I've watched my once confident 12 year old, lose all sense of herself.

I'm at a loss here Ladies.
How can I make this better? How can I help her help herself?


Oh, and some background on her teacher. He's a male teacher (her first) and while he's fun and goofy, he is completely ignorant of any 'girl' problems in his class.

Thank you for any suggestions.

So which came first?

The depressing year or my depression?

Wow, that's even hard for me to write let alone say.
But I finally did to my husband last night after more than a few hours of crying. It's not like he didn't already know, but it's not something we ever talked about.

I probably wouldn't have been able to admit it to myself yet anyway, even if we had.

It's not surprising I'd be depressed.
My husband has been working near the Canadian border now for almost a year. He commutes on Monday mornings to work and then stays in a tiny studio Monday thru Thursday and then commutes home Thursday afternoon to spend three day weekends with us.

Sure, it could be worse. I often think about the military wives whose husbands have been overseas for months/years at a time. At least I see my husband every week and talk and text him several times a day.

But I didn't sign up to take care of two arguing teenage girls all by myself Mon-Thur. Two Daddy's girls who now call Dad behind my back to settle arguments or ask permission for activities they already know I'd say no to. Once again karma kicking me in the ass.

I was such a Daddy's girl, I'd have done the same thing. I probably even did.

And just around the same time last year, my best friend of 16+ years betrayed me in such a way that it's made me question every aspect of that relationship for nearly 12 months now.

And so I became a hermit, which wasn't so hard to do.

I withdrew from the world. I didn't write...not even journal, which I've been doing since I was 16.
I stopped going out.
Literally.
There were weeks where I didn't leave the house at all, not even to get the mail.

Suddenly at 43 I felt very lost.

And because I was still in Lyme treatment it was easy to use my Lyme as the excuse as to why I was feeling so shitty.

In addition, depression is quite typical with Lyme Disease...but jesus, who wouldn't be depressed with a multi-system disease that robs you of your health?

So which is it? Which came first?

To be honest, I don't know.

And now I really don't care. If I don't pick myself up and dust myself off a couple more years will have flown by...and where would I be?

My short term goals are pretty simple.

1. get out of bed every morning (trust me sometimes this can be hard)
   
2. shower (it usually makes those around me happier if I don't smell)
3. work 2 hours a day on a project, any project (keep the old mind sharp)
4. remind myself each night before bed how truly blessed I am
5. make one long term goal

And so I'm saving for a trip to Ireland (I'm very Irish, in case you didn't know).

Summer of 2012 my brother and I are going to return to our family's birth place and discover all the things our father loved about Ireland. His land.




p.s. We'll probably stop off in Scotland too, as our father loved Scotland as well. Edinburgh was one of his favorite cities.

And a thank you to my readers who've stuck by my journey these past few years. I'm surprised you keep checking back on me every now and then even though I've not written in some time.
You're an inspiration, thanks.