Where is your 'good manner' filter when you need it?

Before my family moved up to Washington, we lived in a small coastal town smack in the middle of California.

Our town was a unique mixture of retirees, young families...and of course, our never ending onslaught of tourists, who were never prepared for endless foggy and drizzly weather.

"Hey, this is the beach in California...isn't it supposed to be sunny?"


Anyhoo, besides being a full time mother, wife, classroom parent, active community member, I volunteered some time at one of our local retirement communities. And even though I've volunteered at many retirement homes, this one was unlike any other.

Situated more like a college campus. This retirement community was set up with a series of apartments, cottages, activities centers, library, chapel, hospital, administration offices and cafeteria (pseudo-restaurant style).

And just like a college campus, there were places where the 'cool' kids hung out, the outcasts and the jocks and prom queens.

Some of the women even appear to be holding court, with their circle of friends (admirers). It was and still is very click-y. If you're in the 'in' crowd you're greeted, hugged, talked to, etc... and if you're in the 'outs' you are ignored, shunned, looked down upon, etc...

It's totally ridiculous and reminds me more of jr. high school than college.

There's a never-ending rumour mill.

The ratio of men to women is always lopsided.
Women live longer than men...but of those men that do live past 75...ooooooh baby, they are in demand. I imagine as in demand as a glass of ice tea in hell.

I've never seen such heavy flirting than when a single 80 year old man walks into the hobby room. He's practically mobbed by the other single 'ladies', and the married ones too. The 45 year old Pastor isn't even off limits to these ladies.

You can only imagine the changes that have occurred worldwide with the invention of the 'Viagra' pill. Unfortunately, just like college, STD's are making their way through our retirement communities as well.

But that's not the point of my story.

For those of you that don't 'hang' with the local over 75 crowd. You haven't begun to notice the slight changes that occur with our elderly.

Namely, the loss of their 'good manner' filter.
I call it a 'good manner' filter because most of us have and use a filter to keep ourselves from saying what we are really thinking.

And because their hearing is going, when they 'whisper' these not-so-nice comments, I can hear them from across the room. Literally.

"Did you she what Mildred is wearing? Talk about slutty!"

Often, I have to remind the 'ladies' that we need to use our manners...and our in-door voice.

It's not polite to tell Doris that she'd,

"Better get her fat ass out of your chair!"

As one lady told me, she'd been married to a pastor for over 45 years, she'd done her time and the way she figured it, she was done with being nice.

"I did 'nice' for 45 years...I'm tired."


And she's one of the nice ones.

No more dog biscuits, Mom...

My youngest asked me yesterday whether I was going to feed her dog biscuits for an after school snack like I did with the neighbor kids.

Ha.ha.ha. Her sense of sarcasm is already well tuned for a 10 year old.

I'd forgotten I'd posted about that nearly a year ago, before I really had any readers.

So, for those of you who didn't hear the story the first time....here it is again.

Maybe you'll get a laugh about it today.

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May 3, 2008

A few weeks ago the kidlets had their parent/teacher conferences. Which now a days means three days home from school. I certainly don't remember getting to stay home during conference week when I was a kid. Every time I sneeze the kids are home from school for an in-service day, holiday, snow day, teacher catch-up day...I'm not kidding.

My neighbor was kind enough to watch my monkeys when I had conferences, and likewise I looked after her three monkeys when she had hers.

It had been awhile (7+ years) since I'd had a 2 yr. old in the house for more than ten minutes. ...and I tried to do the "mom" thing and put out some snacks. I had a wide array of cut up fruit, crackers, juice, little gingerbread cookies, etc... Three kids descended on my snacks and I was feeling quite good about keeping them entertained and fed.

My youngest comes skipping into the kitchen and surveys the snack spread and in the LOUDEST voice ever asks,

"Mooooooom, why are you feeding the neighbor kids dog treats?"

What?

My monkey picks up the bowl of gingerbread men cookies and says,

"Mom, these are for the dogs!"

What?

I'm not kidding, these kids had been sitting for five minutes eating what was apparently the dog's organic "cookies".

One of the kids finally pipes up and says,

"Oh, no wonder those tasted so bad!"

Thank God her kids were laughing.

I was mortified. I mean, if I'd fed my monkeys the dog treats...then hey, fine...no big deal...but we've only lived in our neighborhood for 10 months. This was the first time our neighbor had trusted me w/her kids and I go and feed her kids dog food.
And then it occurred to me...who are these kids?

How come no one piped up and said, "These are horrible!"

My kids don't hesitate to give anyone their unsolicited opinion.
Who were these nice, well-mannered children that continued to eat crap...organic crap to boot.

90 minutes later I had their mother rolling on the floor.

See, I knew we moved into the right neighborhood.

Restarting Lyme treatment...

Sorry for the lack of posts lately.

I've restarted my lyme treatment after 3 months sans meds (only taking immune support medication).

Lyme treatment is tricky. Just when you start to feel better, you get hit in the gut with nausea, migraines, bone-aching fatigue, increasing joint pain, etc...

I used to think my immune system was crap, but now I realize how hard it continues to work for me.

I started my new malaria med (Lariam) two weeks ago, and so far I'm handling it well.
As many Lyme patients know, starting a new med can be quite scary...serious side effects, herxing, medication overload, etc...

This co-infection is in the same family as malaria...and currently is the most debilitating of my parasitic infections.

For my readers who don't understand Lyme disease and how widespread it actually is, this June an amazing documentary, Under Our Skin will be opened in wide release across the country.

So please look for it at your nearest theater.
I'm excited because our local Lyme support group will be sponsoring a showing at our local indie theater this summer.

Once the information gets out there, maybe the Lyme Controversy will die down.

All I ask is... if I'm going to hallucinate on this medication that it include Hugh Jackman.

Who knows maybe my husband will get lucky again.

Panic attacks and bald spots...

A few weeks ago my 10 year was getting ready for school and as I was helping her with her jacket and backpack I noticed her eyebrows seemed all askew. I made a mental note of it and then was distracted by the dog throwing up on the kitchen floor.

Next morning, I pulled a classic "mom" move and licked my fingers and tried to smooth out her eyebrows. To my horror, I noticed that her eyebrows weren't mussed up at all, they had two huge bald spots on both eyebrows.

My 10 year is pulling out her eyebrows.

It took awhile for me to understand the situation. She's always been a high stress girl. Easily upset, quick to cry, feelings hanging from her sleeve. My biggest worry had always been that she'd be a nail biter like I was. Eyebrow pulling wasn't even on my radar.

Last month she had her first real full blown panic attack. She honestly thought she was dying and begged me to call 911. It took 30 minutes and more than a few squirts of 'rescue remedy' to get her to calm down.

My poor poor girl. There is nothing a ten year old girl should be so worried about that she's hurting herself.

I immediately called the school counselor who's been very helpful this year and made an appointment to see her and the district psychologist.

Hubby and I bought some squeezy things and a rubbing stone for her to keep in her pocket for when she feels stressed...hopefully they will help. A few wisps of hair are growing back...ever so slowly.


On a scarier note: My oldest is learning how to drive. When did I get sooooo old?

On a happier note:

Happy Mother's Day to all you Mother's out there!!
It's the hardest job in the world and we all deserve hazard pay.

Year One and counting....

I remember a year ago I felt such a strong need to get my little voice out there and be heard.

Now that it's a year later, I'm not sure I've accomplished much...

even if that's the case, I'm still having a good time doing it.



In the meantime, I've met other bloggers, such as myself who feel the need to be heard. Some are liberals like me, and some are just hilarious and a real joy to read.

So if you've missed these other reads, please check them out...especially Jay.
He's taken on an almost herculean task of posting a chick flick movie review everyday this month. I don't envy him one bit.

Happy One Year Anniversary Monkey Girl!




Oooooooh, someone needs a manicure.