Help, my husband has fallen and can't get up...

Well, he hasn't fallen but he did manage to throw his back out over the x-mas holiday.

No, not sex...you sickos, shoveling the fucking snow off our sidewalk. So, while your minds were in the gutter (at least mine was) he was literally in the gutter trying to keep our driveway and sidewalk clear. He didn't want any of the neighbor kids to slip and fall. The irony.

Now, he's always led me to believe he's the 'Man of Steel' but I'm starting to have my doubts. Maybe it's the hobbling around the house all hunched over like he's 80 instead of 41. Poor boy. I offered to get him a walker (tennis balls and all), but he promptly flipped me an obscene finger gesture. Guess the walker is out.

So, a week from Monday, I'm taking the old man to the Spinal Clinic in Seattle and hopefully they'll whip him back into shape. Literally.

So, sex is out for a little while, at least. I don't want to break the poor boy.

Until everyone can tie the knot...

As a former Californian, I was disappointed and ashamed when Prop. 8 passed this last November.

I still sincerely don't understand why or how it passed.

Why do people want to keep others from marrying? I just don't get it.

I discovered a great website, WhiteKnot.org. I couldn't agree more with their statement.

"All loving couples deserve the same legal rights, benefits, and respect that civil marriage bestows."

Please visit their website and join the fight for marriage equality.

It doesn't matter if you are gay or straight, equality is the goal here.

Thanks for your support and this ends our public service announcement for today!

Every blogger is a little vain...

And like any other cute little blogger, I love to hear from you, my readers.

Your comments make me smile, laugh and help me realize we're all in this together....literally, 'cause the next time my MIL comes for a visit you're all invited to my house for a party. You provide the mixer and I'll provide plenty of vodka.

I've added a little 'follow this blog' tag...see it there on the left?

So, for all my regular readers please add your cute little mug to my blog, and for those of you new comers, keep coming back, and I'll do my very best to give everyone a giggle now and then.

This way we can share the love.

I never said I was innocent...

When my oldest turned one, I put on one of those cute fake tattoos on her shoulder before family and friends arrived for the big party. (It was a sunflower, by the way)

Why? Because, if just for a second, my mother-in-law thought it was real, I knew it would bother the hell out of her.

When the MIL was visiting one year, I hung a 'gay pride' flag from our house, just to confuse the shit out of her. Honestly, she probably didn't even know what a rainbow flag symbolized, but I didn't care. At least, I thought it was funny.

It may sound juvenile to you, but if I can't have fun with the whole, "I'm the crazy daughter-in-law" thing...then what's the point?

I knew I wasn't what she'd hoped for in a daughter-in-law.

I never belonged to a sorority.
I don't wear pearls or penny loafers.
I'm not a fan of hair spray....or a blow-dryer for that matter.
I'm not a WASP or a DAR.

So when her son brought home a Santa Cruz 'hippie' who...

Wore tie-dye long johns and Birkenstock's
Am probably more native to this country than her DAR ancestors.
Wore Ghugharu bells around my ankles.
Had some difficulty keeping my opinions to myself.

I'm sure she didn't know what to make of me. Surely, she was hoping I was just a rebellious stage her poor son was 'experimenting' with...

I thought she'd 'warm' to me in time.

I don't think I've ever been that wrong about something then or ever since.

Back from the dead...

My closest girlfriend calls me her 'orchid'.

Although, I can be bright (loud), colorful (obnoxious) and sometimes just plain unruly (my roots hang out everywhere), I have the body of an orchid.

Meaning, my body is frail, delicate and sometimes just plain finicky, i.e. don't water me too much or parts of my body will shrivel up and fall off onto the dining room table.

I find it completely frustrating.

The bicillin injections my husband was giving me every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, finally took their toll on my body.

Aggressive Lyme treatment might not be in the cards for me. My poor body just can't take it. I meet with my doctors on Thursday to discuss alternatives...I'll keep you posted.

On to better news...

I got the sweetest invitation from a neighbor yesterday to attend a "swearing-in/inauguration" party the morning of January 20th. Mimosas, quiche, breakfast goodies, bloody mary's etc...it's going to be great!

Next Tuesday will be a day to celebrate!

Too dark and not nearly funny enough...

Well, I deleted this morning's post.

So for those of you that read it...yawn... and I'm sorry. I re-read it and it was too long, dark and smacked of the kind of bitterness that only I can have for my MIL.

It was all true. Too, too true.
It was definitely one of the defining moments that instigated 'the shift' in my husband's relationship with his mother, but I realize now that, that it is his story to tell, not mine.

So, I'm sorry. I pulled it.

I can promise however, more mother-in-law stories that are funny, dark, sad and pitiful and perhaps less bitter.

The woman truly is piece of unfeeling, narcissistic work. Believe me, I should know.