Friday, October 31, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
It's the last time...I swear
Eight years ago today my husband and I moved our family to Singapore.
We said goodbye to friends and family.
We said goodbye to our cars.
We said goodbye to cool breezes.
We said goodbye to all the opened yet unfinished bottles of vodka, gin and vermouth.
But before we did all these things, we made sure we voted before we left.
Don't forget to vote people!
And I swear that's the last time you'll hear me say it.
We said goodbye to friends and family.
We said goodbye to our cars.
We said goodbye to cool breezes.
We said goodbye to all the opened yet unfinished bottles of vodka, gin and vermouth.
But before we did all these things, we made sure we voted before we left.
Don't forget to vote people!
And I swear that's the last time you'll hear me say it.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
the 411 on me...
Current Book(s):
Georgiana: Duchess of Devonshire by: Amanda Foreman
Sociology of Deviant Behavior by: some boring author
Current Music:
Psychedelic Furs
Midnight to Midnight (1986)
Current Shame-Inducing Guilty Pleasure:
Survivor Gabon
(what can I say? I love that show!)
Current Obsessions:
My bed.
Current Drink:
My hubby's new morning smoothie
(get your mind out of the gutter!)
Current Movie:
The Duchess
(I'll give it a C+)
Current TV Show:
Reruns of House
Current Wish-List:
Hardwood floors for the living room/dining room
A housekeeper (I dream big)
Current Needs:
Energy
Current Triumph(s):
Reading 3 boring chapters of the sociology text
Not strangling my 15 yr. old daughter
Current Bane(s) of my Existence:
Dirty finger prints on the walls
Dog pee stains on the carpet
Current Goal(s):
To beat Lyme disease
To get rid of GWB and his cronies
Current Indulgence:
Bubble baths and reading
FOX Soccer Channel
Current Blessing:
My family and friend(s)
Current Slang or Saying:
That's bullshit
(comes in handy when your 15 yr. old is lying to you)
Current Mood:
Tired but optimistic
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Reflections...
It's a long way down
and you missed a spot
on the window.
It's a quiet balance
washing away the
circles of my reflection.
and you missed a spot
on the window.
It's a quiet balance
washing away the
circles of my reflection.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Wishing for no snow this winter...
See, I'm a California Girl at heart...need I say more?
Me and snow don't mix.
I know I've complained before...but I don't think I can stress how unprepared I was for snow when we moved up to the great Northwest.
You see...
Years ago, I was in an accident that involved me, my car, and a freak snow storm...
Me against nature, you could say.
The year was 1988, my Boytoy (soon-to-be hubby) and I decided to drive out to Colorado for Christmas break to visit his folks.
At 20, driving from California to Colorado seems romantic. Now, it just seems long, boring and a test on how well I can hold my bladder.
We had gorgeous weather on the drive out...all was good.
Met his parents, friends, home town, blah, blah, blah...then 3 days later turned around to drive home.
I'm leaving out the good parts where his mother made us sleep in separate rooms, we had to sneak around to have sex, even though we'd been living together for 9+ months...you know, the usual.
Because we were still students, we were poor as dirt.
Poor plus youth equals...driving straight through 2.5 states because we can't afford to stay in a hotel let alone a fleabag motel.
Somewhere a few miles outside Salt Lake City it started to snow. I mean SNOW...oh, and did I mention that I was driving?
Not to worry my Boytoy says, we'll switch in SLC and he'll drive the rest of the way to California.
Only...we didn't make it to Salt Lake City...at least not until hours later.
You see, growing up in California (northern, Calif, I might add) I'd never heard of 'black ice'.
Still sounds like a name of a good cocktail to me.
Well, you guessed it, we (me and the old Volvo) hit some black ice on Interstate 80.
At 11:30pm it's amazing how crowded the freeway can be.
All the while the Boytoy is screaming,
"Get your foot off the fucking brakes!!!"
and me screaming back,
"I'M NOT!!!"
Luckily, even though we did 3 or 4 donuts we managed to miss everyone and land safely on the side on Interstate 80, squished into a snow bank.
After my blood pressure returned back to normal and the Boytoy stopped saying, "Holy Shit", we assessed the situation, it was pretty apparent we were going to need a pull/push out of the snow bank, as the poor Volvo wasn't budging.
Now let me give a shout out to all the people who literally stopped and offered help.
People are so friendly in Utah.
Within 15 minutes, at midnight, I might add, a kind samaritan in a 4 x 4 with a tow hitch, was offering to pull us out.
It only took 5 minutes to realize it wasn't going to work. We were going to need the 'big guns', i.e. a tow truck.
I started to wonder what our chances of a Utah tow truck driver taking an out of state check were...when all of a sudden, poof!, a tow truck arrived.
The Boytoy and I stood on the side of Interstate 80 watching the tow truck struggle to pull out our car. Nothing. The car didn't move.
Confused, the tow truck driver, pushed on.
Standing there with one hand scratching his beard and the other on the power switch thingy, he looks up the highway and then down and shakes his head, and says he thinks he knows what the problem is...when...
SNAP.
Boytoy, the truck driver, and by now a Utah State Patrol Officer and I stand there staring at the car.
Boytoy: What just happened?
Utah SPO: What's the problem?
Me: It's freezing out here, and I have to pee.
TTD: I think we might be in a little trouble here.
The tow truck driver opens the side passenger door, and low and behold sticking straight through the car between the two front seats is a metal pole with reflective sticker at the top.
Me: What's that?
TTD & Utah SPO: That's a roadside delineator.
Me & Boytoy: What?
That's right folks, I managed to expertly run over a little metal pole. (they're now made of plastic)
When the tow truck driver pulled the poor car out, the metal pole popped right through the car, taking out the emergency brake, missing the drive train (so I was told) and left quite a nice size hole in the car right between the two front seats.
Yes, I know, I'm talented.
All that was left was to pay the tow truck driver, who, if I remember correctly, sent us a bill in the mail...who still does that these days?
Utah SPO: I can't just let you leave the scene.
Me: Excuse me?
Utah SPO: You destroyed state property.
Me: I don't understand. What am I supposed to do?
Utah SPO: You'll have to reimburse the state, a check will suffice.
Me: Ok. mumble. mumble. mumble.
Result...
I own a marker just like this one...you could too, for just $50.00!
Me and snow don't mix.
I know I've complained before...but I don't think I can stress how unprepared I was for snow when we moved up to the great Northwest.
You see...
Years ago, I was in an accident that involved me, my car, and a freak snow storm...
Me against nature, you could say.
The year was 1988, my Boytoy (soon-to-be hubby) and I decided to drive out to Colorado for Christmas break to visit his folks.
At 20, driving from California to Colorado seems romantic. Now, it just seems long, boring and a test on how well I can hold my bladder.
We had gorgeous weather on the drive out...all was good.
Met his parents, friends, home town, blah, blah, blah...then 3 days later turned around to drive home.
I'm leaving out the good parts where his mother made us sleep in separate rooms, we had to sneak around to have sex, even though we'd been living together for 9+ months...you know, the usual.
Because we were still students, we were poor as dirt.
Poor plus youth equals...driving straight through 2.5 states because we can't afford to stay in a hotel let alone a fleabag motel.
Somewhere a few miles outside Salt Lake City it started to snow. I mean SNOW...oh, and did I mention that I was driving?
Not to worry my Boytoy says, we'll switch in SLC and he'll drive the rest of the way to California.
Only...we didn't make it to Salt Lake City...at least not until hours later.
You see, growing up in California (northern, Calif, I might add) I'd never heard of 'black ice'.
Still sounds like a name of a good cocktail to me.
Well, you guessed it, we (me and the old Volvo) hit some black ice on Interstate 80.
At 11:30pm it's amazing how crowded the freeway can be.
All the while the Boytoy is screaming,
"Get your foot off the fucking brakes!!!"
and me screaming back,
"I'M NOT!!!"
Luckily, even though we did 3 or 4 donuts we managed to miss everyone and land safely on the side on Interstate 80, squished into a snow bank.
After my blood pressure returned back to normal and the Boytoy stopped saying, "Holy Shit", we assessed the situation, it was pretty apparent we were going to need a pull/push out of the snow bank, as the poor Volvo wasn't budging.
Now let me give a shout out to all the people who literally stopped and offered help.
People are so friendly in Utah.
Within 15 minutes, at midnight, I might add, a kind samaritan in a 4 x 4 with a tow hitch, was offering to pull us out.
It only took 5 minutes to realize it wasn't going to work. We were going to need the 'big guns', i.e. a tow truck.
I started to wonder what our chances of a Utah tow truck driver taking an out of state check were...when all of a sudden, poof!, a tow truck arrived.
The Boytoy and I stood on the side of Interstate 80 watching the tow truck struggle to pull out our car. Nothing. The car didn't move.
Confused, the tow truck driver, pushed on.
Standing there with one hand scratching his beard and the other on the power switch thingy, he looks up the highway and then down and shakes his head, and says he thinks he knows what the problem is...when...
SNAP.
Boytoy, the truck driver, and by now a Utah State Patrol Officer and I stand there staring at the car.
Boytoy: What just happened?
Utah SPO: What's the problem?
Me: It's freezing out here, and I have to pee.
TTD: I think we might be in a little trouble here.
The tow truck driver opens the side passenger door, and low and behold sticking straight through the car between the two front seats is a metal pole with reflective sticker at the top.
Me: What's that?
TTD & Utah SPO: That's a roadside delineator.
Me & Boytoy: What?
That's right folks, I managed to expertly run over a little metal pole. (they're now made of plastic)
When the tow truck driver pulled the poor car out, the metal pole popped right through the car, taking out the emergency brake, missing the drive train (so I was told) and left quite a nice size hole in the car right between the two front seats.
Yes, I know, I'm talented.
All that was left was to pay the tow truck driver, who, if I remember correctly, sent us a bill in the mail...who still does that these days?
Utah SPO: I can't just let you leave the scene.
Me: Excuse me?
Utah SPO: You destroyed state property.
Me: I don't understand. What am I supposed to do?
Utah SPO: You'll have to reimburse the state, a check will suffice.
Me: Ok. mumble. mumble. mumble.
Result...
I own a marker just like this one...you could too, for just $50.00!
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Did I mention I hate shopping?
Yes, it's true, I hate shopping.
Unless of course, it's for cool house nic-nacs, kitchen stuff, furniture, aveda shampoo...
Okay, I guess my list of dislikes might be a bit shorter.
Who likes grocery shopping, electronics shopping, clothes shopping, anyway?
Well it's been two years, and yes, you guessed it, I'm being forced to buy a new cell phone.
Honestly, I swear, the cell phone manufacturers have mastered the art of making a cell phone that will only live for 12-24 months...unless you're my husband, his poor phone has a death sentence the minute it leaves the store.
This is my thinking...if I can buy a toaster for $19.99 that can last for 25+years, why does a $149.99 cell phone's expiration date shorter than a can of chicken noodle?
My phone contract was up in July.
Somehow, my cell phone knows this. Cosmically, the universe tells my cell phone that it must die to make way to a new fangled version of itself.
Turns off whenever it feels like it, makes loud pinging noises, usually right in my ear...maybe that's why my hearing is going, and can't hold a charge long enough for me to text sweet nothings to my hubby, or more importantly to my bff...
So that got me thinking...do I really need a mobile phone?
I mean, I was a child of the 1970's-80's...
Back when there was no such thing as...
a cordless phone, let alone a cell phone...remember phone cords, people?
a personal computer...well not until 1984 in our house anyway.
a pager...remember those...kinda like a cell phone that permanently vibrates?
an i-pod...hey, I still have records/cassette tapes.
We didn't even have cable tv until 1983 for christ's sake!!
Let me put it this way...when I left for college, my parents bought me an electric typewriter!! Whoo-hoo!
Do I really need a cell phone? Probably.
Could I live without it? Probably.
Funny thing is...when I accidentally leave home without it, I feel naked.
Unless of course, it's for cool house nic-nacs, kitchen stuff, furniture, aveda shampoo...
Okay, I guess my list of dislikes might be a bit shorter.
Who likes grocery shopping, electronics shopping, clothes shopping, anyway?
Well it's been two years, and yes, you guessed it, I'm being forced to buy a new cell phone.
Honestly, I swear, the cell phone manufacturers have mastered the art of making a cell phone that will only live for 12-24 months...unless you're my husband, his poor phone has a death sentence the minute it leaves the store.
This is my thinking...if I can buy a toaster for $19.99 that can last for 25+years, why does a $149.99 cell phone's expiration date shorter than a can of chicken noodle?
My phone contract was up in July.
Somehow, my cell phone knows this. Cosmically, the universe tells my cell phone that it must die to make way to a new fangled version of itself.
Turns off whenever it feels like it, makes loud pinging noises, usually right in my ear...maybe that's why my hearing is going, and can't hold a charge long enough for me to text sweet nothings to my hubby, or more importantly to my bff...
So that got me thinking...do I really need a mobile phone?
I mean, I was a child of the 1970's-80's...
Back when there was no such thing as...
a cordless phone, let alone a cell phone...remember phone cords, people?
a personal computer...well not until 1984 in our house anyway.
a pager...remember those...kinda like a cell phone that permanently vibrates?
an i-pod...hey, I still have records/cassette tapes.
We didn't even have cable tv until 1983 for christ's sake!!
Let me put it this way...when I left for college, my parents bought me an electric typewriter!! Whoo-hoo!
Do I really need a cell phone? Probably.
Could I live without it? Probably.
Funny thing is...when I accidentally leave home without it, I feel naked.
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