See, I'm a California Girl at heart...need I say more?
Me and snow don't mix.
I know I've complained before...but I don't think I can stress how unprepared I was for snow when we moved up to the great Northwest.
Years ago, I was in an accident that involved me, my car, and a freak snow storm...
Me against nature, you could say.
The year was 1988, my Boytoy (soon-to-be hubby) and I decided to drive out to Colorado for Christmas break to visit his folks.
At 20, driving from California to Colorado seems romantic. Now, it just seems long, boring and a test on how well I can hold my bladder.
We had gorgeous weather on the drive out...all was good.
Met his parents, friends, home town, blah, blah, blah...then 3 days later turned around to drive home.
I'm leaving out the good parts where his mother made us sleep in separate rooms, we had to sneak around to have sex, even though we'd been living together for 9+ months...you know, the usual.
Because we were still students, we were poor as dirt.
Poor plus youth equals...driving straight through 2.5 states because we can't afford to stay in a hotel let alone a fleabag motel.
Somewhere a few miles outside Salt Lake City it started to snow. I mean SNOW...oh, and did I mention that I was driving?
Not to worry my Boytoy says, we'll switch in SLC and he'll drive the rest of the way to California.
Only...we didn't make it to Salt Lake City...at least not until hours later.
You see, growing up in California (northern, Calif, I might add) I'd never heard of 'black ice'.
Still sounds like a name of a good cocktail to me.
Well, you guessed it, we (me and the old Volvo) hit some black ice on Interstate 80.
At 11:30pm it's amazing how crowded the freeway can be.
All the while the Boytoy is screaming,
"Get your foot off the fucking brakes!!!"
and me screaming back,
Luckily, even though we did 3 or 4 donuts we managed to miss everyone and land safely on the side on Interstate 80, squished into a snow bank.
After my blood pressure returned back to normal and the Boytoy stopped saying, "Holy Shit", we assessed the situation, it was pretty apparent we were going to need a pull/push out of the snow bank, as the poor Volvo wasn't budging.
Now let me give a shout out to all the people who literally stopped and offered help.
People are so friendly in Utah.
Within 15 minutes, at midnight, I might add, a kind samaritan in a 4 x 4 with a tow hitch, was offering to pull us out.
It only took 5 minutes to realize it wasn't going to work. We were going to need the 'big guns', i.e. a tow truck.
I started to wonder what our chances of a Utah tow truck driver taking an out of state check were...when all of a sudden, poof!, a tow truck arrived.
The Boytoy and I stood on the side of Interstate 80 watching the tow truck struggle to pull out our car. Nothing. The car didn't move.
Confused, the tow truck driver, pushed on.
Standing there with one hand scratching his beard and the other on the power switch thingy, he looks up the highway and then down and shakes his head, and says he thinks he knows what the problem is...when...
Boytoy, the truck driver, and by now a Utah State Patrol Officer and I stand there staring at the car.
Boytoy: What just happened?
Utah SPO: What's the problem?
Me: It's freezing out here, and I have to pee.
TTD: I think we might be in a little trouble here.
The tow truck driver opens the side passenger door, and low and behold sticking straight through the car between the two front seats is a metal pole with reflective sticker at the top.
Me: What's that?
TTD & Utah SPO: That's a roadside delineator.
Me & Boytoy: What?
That's right folks, I managed to expertly run over a little metal pole. (they're now made of plastic)
When the tow truck driver pulled the poor car out, the metal pole popped right through the car, taking out the emergency brake, missing the drive train (so I was told) and left quite a nice size hole in the car right between the two front seats.
Yes, I know, I'm talented.
All that was left was to pay the tow truck driver, who, if I remember correctly, sent us a bill in the mail...who still does that these days?
Utah SPO: I can't just let you leave the scene.
Me: Excuse me?
Utah SPO: You destroyed state property.
Me: I don't understand. What am I supposed to do?
Utah SPO: You'll have to reimburse the state, a check will suffice.
Me: Ok. mumble. mumble. mumble.
I own a marker just like this one...you could too, for just $50.00!