Saturday, December 27, 2008

The Sandman visited me...

I haven't been getting any good sleep lately.

I know this is a common complaint of many Lyme sufferers. It's been explained to me as the lyme bacteria and co-infection parasites keeping the body in constant warrior mode and therefore never letting my poor body get enough deep sleep to properly recuperate.

I like to think of it as...hundreds of millions little bugs circulating throughout my body constantly poking me with a big stick so I'm unable to sleep. Not a pleasant picture, but it works for me.

My little critters are having a royal party and totaling taking advantage of my hospitality.
Those little fuckers.

Well, my doctor finally prescribed me something to literally knock me out.

Last night, I took one of the pills.

Fast forward to this morning.

"Honey, did we have sex last night?"

"Yes, babe we did."

"Whaaaaaaaaaat, are you fucking kidding me?"

"Ahhhh, no."

"Was it good? Cause I don't remember a thing."

"You're joking, right?"

"No."

Apparently, I jumped my husband last night, ordered dvds and calendars from Barnes and Noble.com, and still got 10 hours of sleep.


And I don't remember a damn thing.


I can already hear my husband as he's shaking the pill bottle with a big cheesy grin,

"Here's your nightly pill, Honey, let me get you a glass of water."

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Happy Holidays to all...

We've been socked in with snow this entire week.
We're as close to sea level as you can get without getting wet, and yet, we got over a foot of fluffy white snow yesterday.

Lots of sitting by the fire.
Lots of games of monopoly and scrabble.
Lots of knitting.

It's wonderfully peaceful.


From my family to yours,

We wish you a wonderful holiday and a happy and healthy New Year.

Best Wishes for 2009,

Monkey Girl and her family

Monday, December 8, 2008

Just bend over and relax...

Sooooo.....on Friday, I went in for my first (in a loooooong series) bicillin shot!! Aren't you excited? Aren't you jealous?? These shots are supposed to be the 'big guns' to fight my Lyme infection. I opted for them instead of putting in a permanent IV. Seemed easier and less intrusive. 3 shots a week! Yippee! So, the Hubby and I took the shot to my lyme doctor, so she could show him the ropes. Nothing is quite as satisfying as bending over, letting my doctor draw a big triangle on my ass with a sharpie and letting my husband poke me with a very large and very thick needle. And you know what? I think he really enjoyed it. Sick bastard. I just know he can't wait until Monday afternoon.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Is my karma f*@ked?

Scene One:

The year is 1976 and I'm camping with my girl scout troop. A lost grasshopper finds it's way into my tent. I use a whole can of bug spray and kill the grasshopper. (Insert sad music here)

Scene Two:

It's now 2008. I'm sitting in my doctor's office as she tells me I'm suffering from a disease. A multi-systemic disease that is caused by the bite of a BUG. (Insert Jaws theme music here)

Is this karma coming back and kicking me in the ass?

Probably.


Lesson learned:

Never go camping.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

the 411 on me...


Current Book(s)
:
Georgiana: Duchess of Devonshire by: Amanda Foreman
Sociology of Deviant Behavior by: some boring author

Current Music:
Psychedelic Furs
Midnight to Midnight (1986)

Current Shame-Inducing Guilty Pleasure:
Survivor Gabon
(what can I say? I love that show!)

Current Obsessions:
My bed.

Current Drink:
My hubby's new morning smoothie
(get your mind out of the gutter!)

Current Movie:
The Duchess
(I'll give it a C+)

Current TV Show:
Reruns of House

Current Wish-List:
Hardwood floors for the living room/dining room
A housekeeper (I dream big)

Current Needs:
Energy

Current Triumph(s):
Reading 3 boring chapters of the sociology text
Not strangling my 15 yr. old daughter

Current Bane(s) of my Existence:
Dirty finger prints on the walls
Dog pee stains on the carpet

Current Goal(s):
To beat Lyme disease
To get rid of GWB and his cronies

Current Indulgence:
Bubble baths and reading
FOX Soccer Channel

Current Blessing:
My family and friend(s)

Current Slang or Saying:
That's bullshit
(comes in handy when your 15 yr. old is lying to you)

Current Mood:
Tired but optimistic

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Reflections...

It's a long way down

and you missed a spot

on the window.

It's a quiet balance

washing away the

circles of my reflection.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

...

Someday I will be free

Free from my past

Free from a sick spirit

Free from my lost childhood

On that day

I will find my innocence again

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Freedom!!!!!!

I'm not one of those mothers that cries when her kids go off to school.

Not that I don't understand those moms, I'm just not one of them.

I'm one of those mothers that you see jumping around all giddy and smiles, trying to be comforting but secretly excited as I'm pushing my kids out the door.

You see, my kids turned 10 and 15 this summer. Hallelujah!

This mom can already see the light at the end of the tunnel.

FREEDOM!!!!

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Please lock the bathroom door!!!!

I really love having the type of home that my kids run in and out of... Unfortunately, having this type of laid back house comes with interesting problems. It's not only just my kids running in and out of the house...it's also their neighborhood friends, siblings, etc... On more than one occasion I've woken up (from an afternoon nap) to a little three old chirping in my ear, "Monkey Girl, whatcha doin', are you sleepin'?" He's even gone as far as to crawl in bed with me, telling me how much he misses me. It's sweet, and honestly doesn't bother me a bit. Every neighbor in every neighborhood over the years eventually gets used to seeing me in my bathrobe. I think it used to bug Hubby Monkey but he's gotten over it. It's only a matter of time before I'm walking the monkeys to the bus stop in my pj's, robe and slippers. Really, if this were the 1950's you'd have seen me wearing one of those house coats...of course, it would have been cute. Thank God, my neighbor likes me, because a few weeks ago I had to explain to her that her little monkey saw me half naked/half dressed...well, really I was attempting to get dressed, quickly, I might add. But in runs MY MONKEY, without knocking (what a shock!) and her friend is trailing behind her. HELLO!!!! MOMMY'S NAKED HERE!!!! Now, my kids see me naked all the time. But, honestly, I'm trying not to flash the neighbor kids. I don't want to scare them...or scar them, whichever. I may be nuts but I do have my modesty.

Thursday, July 31, 2008

The new purple mop...

Now that 40 is only a few months away, I've been pondering a little change.

I swore that when I turned 30 I'd get my tattoo of Max from Where the Wild Things Are. Well, I was pregnant when I was thirty and a tattoo didn't seem like a good idea then.

So I pushed off my tattoo date till I was 40. Well 40 is here.

I'm still for the tattoo, but I've decided I'll spice it up a bit.

So on Tuesday, I marched down to my local (and favorite) Aveda Salon, and demanded (asked ever so politely) for some purple hair.

My hair girl/stylist didn't seem the least bit surprised.

Two and a half hours later and after some serious discussion, I left with the prettiest purple bangs you could imagine.

I'm ready for my tattoo now.

Won't the hubby be surprised when he returns from this week's business trip?

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Getting my ass kicked...

I knew when I started this blog that it would be hard not to discuss my illness...and as much as I don't want to give it so much attention in my life... it's still there.

I've read many blogs over the years, and many that revolve around people's illnesses, and I didn't want to do that. There is so much more to me than having chronic Lyme Disease.

Unfortunately, sometimes it's all I think about, especially during treatment.

There are daily reminders, of all the things I can no longer do. It's hard to forget. Truly it's a delicate balance between trying not to give the illness too much power over me.

These last few weeks have been a struggle. The constant pain, the weakness, the lethargy, spiking fevers, etc...it gets old fast.

The treatment adds...nausea, muscle and tendon pain, and a life that revolves around taking medication.

Honestly I don't know how people do it.

So here's the deal...

I'm not going to give the disease all my energy. Yes, there will be good days and bad days, and days I need to discuss it, but I refuse to give it all my time.

There are so many more important things to discuss...

Monday, June 30, 2008

Bad bad dogs...

Can dogs be bulimic? Because I'm trying to understand why they scarf down their food like it's the last supper and then proceed to barf their undigested kibbles all over our dining room carpet. Anyone for lunch? My hubby is suggesting we have doggie stew.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Lazy Sundays

When I was growing up Sundays were filled with church sermons, itchy legs (I hated wearing nylons) 2pm dinners, and family drives.

Today, Sundays are filled with toast, tea and newspapers in a crowded bed, english football games, 2pm dinners and late afternoon movies.

I love lazy Sundays.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Happy Father's Day Daddy

It's been 16 years since you passed away, and I miss you every day.

I miss the sound of your voice.

I miss your smell of sweet tobacco and aftershave.

I will always be your girl.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Feeling the love

I am sooooo a product of my generation.

I was born in the 1960's and grew up in a fairly liberal town populated with a mix of mild conservatives and way out there hippie liberals.

It was small enough that most shop owners knew me by name but just big enough that they weren't reporting back to my parents on any of my teenage antics.

Now I'm raising my own children. Of course, I wish I could give them that kind of childhood but I'm slowly realizing it's not 1974 anymore.

To put it in perspective, I'm the kind of parent who...

  • made sure my kids knew all the words to Neil Young's Cinnamon Girl at an early age
  • would inform their teachers that I'd pick and choose which homework assignments I thought were necessary...I don't believe in mindless busywork
  • tried my best to keep the kids as far away from the television as possible
  • would rather they play outdoors
  • can't count how many homemade tie-dye shirts they've made between them
Unfortunately, when they are teenagers everything gets turned on it's head. All of a sudden they start thinking for themselves...who knew?

My days of influencing them are surely coming to an end.

I'm still trying though. Cat Stevens was playing in the car yesterday and I didn't hear any complaining...so maybe I can still make a difference.

Friday, May 9, 2008

My New Friends...

Well, it's official I've got three new friends. Their names are...Borrelia, Babesiosis, and Bartonella. I was introduced to my exotic new friends through an old acquaintance. You might ask, where have we seen them...Entertainment Tonight? ...Page Six of the Post? ...on the arm of George Clooney at the Oscars? Maybe, they are a bunch of bitches. To tell you the truth, these bitches aren't very good friends. They've been kicking my ass for a long time now, but now that I know where they hide, they'll never see me coming, because I fight dirty. Just ask my brother how many leg hairs he's lost over his last 37+ years. I could be bitter that it took 8+ years for doctors to find out what was wrong. I could be bitter that instead of listening to me, they (the doctors) just patted my head and handed me a scrip for antidepressants. I could be bitter that when I refused their antidepressants they dumped me so fast, even after they swore we'd find an answer to my medical problems. I could be bitter at the insurance companies who've fought me the entire way, and will continue to wear me down hoping I will either go away or die. The truth is...I try hard everyday to keep the positive attitude. I've got... A wonderful husband who's been w/me through the best and the worst Two wonderful, kind, independent, funny girls even if one is a teenager The best girlfriend a girl could want...really she's my other spouse Lovely friends and family who put up with all my crap I thank god everyday for these people. I couldn't do it without them.